I'm feeling scarily optimistic. Is it the end of summer calling? Summers always leave me feeling dried out and ill. Florida is so pleasant most of the time. I think it's a magical place if you know where to look. But even I cannot bear the swamp heat. This heat is oppressive. I hate being this far away from the ocean. I feel like their is seawater in my blood.
Or is this just the signal that something utterly awesome is going to happen. I know I'm already blessed but I cant help thinking maybe magical stuff is just around the corner. I could use good news. I want all the best for me and my friends and family.
Or just having my hair cut? Sometimes having the outsides changed can cause a shift on the inside. I remember certain decisions about how I look starting to shape my identity. It's funny how much clothing and appearance can factor in. It's also funny how little I sometimes pay to my appearance. I sometimes wear makeup and I've never owned foundation.
But, it's tricky. I also adore clothing. I look at high fashion as another form of high art. I also love creative people making their own stuff. And I don't wear much jewelery but I love the stuff I have. I see nothing wrong with beauty just for beauty's sake. That's probably a flaw on my part but I can't help falling in love with something exquisite. It's like when you see certain paintings and can't even articulate why you like them. As an artist I feel like I should question this beauty and the pleasure from viewing but as a pleasure-seeker I just sort of want to let it exist. It's like a fabulous meal at a restaurant --- maybe you don't want to know how it came to be. Maybe you just want it to appear, gorgeous and complete on your plate.