07 August 2008

Ask for what you want.

I'm feeling scarily optimistic. Is it the end of summer calling? Summers always leave me feeling dried out and ill. Florida is so pleasant most of the time. I think it's a magical place if you know where to look. But even I cannot bear the swamp heat. This heat is oppressive. I hate being this far away from the ocean. I feel like their is seawater in my blood.
Or is this just the signal that something utterly awesome is going to happen. I know I'm already blessed but I cant help thinking maybe magical stuff is just around the corner. I could use good news. I want all the best for me and my friends and family.
Or just having my hair cut? Sometimes having the outsides changed can cause a shift on the inside. I remember certain decisions about how I look starting to shape my identity. It's funny how much clothing and appearance can factor in. It's also funny how little I sometimes pay to my appearance. I sometimes wear makeup and I've never owned foundation.
But, it's tricky. I also adore clothing. I look at high fashion as another form of high art. I also love creative people making their own stuff. And I don't wear much jewelery but I love the stuff I have. I see nothing wrong with beauty just for beauty's sake. That's probably a flaw on my part but I can't help falling in love with something exquisite. It's like when you see certain paintings and can't even articulate why you like them. As an artist I feel like I should question this beauty and the pleasure from viewing but as a pleasure-seeker I just sort of want to let it exist. It's like a fabulous meal at a restaurant --- maybe you don't want to know how it came to be. Maybe you just want it to appear, gorgeous and complete on your plate.

1 comment:

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